Thursday, January 06, 2005

Countering indifference

Countering indifference

By Bob Garon
TODAY Newspaper
Thursday, January 6, 2005 1:18 AM


What do you do when faced with indifference? What to do when your partner is like the rock of Gibraltar or the Sphinx sitting on the sands of Egypt? When you cannot seem to move him one way or the other?

Indifference is characterized by a lack of concern and interest in you. The less concern and interest, the greater the indifference, and the deeper is your relationship in trouble. Perhaps the indifference is of the silent kind. You know, he still comes home and goes through the same old routines, but there is a growing lack of interest in you and those things you hold dear.

Unlike before when the flame of love was burning brightly and he was all over you. Now the bright flame is merely a dim flicker and you begin to ask yourself what happened to that intense love you once enjoyed.

Now, he seems bored. You might not see any signs of an affair, but there can be no doubt that a measure of indifference has settled over your love. You might, at first, dismiss it out of hand as just a passing phase. When, however, the indifference doesn’t want to go away, you begin to worry if this might be an indicator of trouble.

If so, what to do? First, get serious about this threat to your relationship because, no matter how you try to explain it all away, it surely is a threat. How big a threat remains to be seen, but then, any threat needs your attention.

Next, you need to talk about it soonest. Find an appropriate time when he’s relaxed and tell him about your observations. Chances are he will deny that anything has changed even if it’s obvious that it has. Still, you need to make your point so he knows that you know.

Then you need to try to inject some zip into your relationship. You will need to do things that will stoke the fires of love and bring back some of those old feelings you enjoyed so very much in earlier and better times.

Sure, you can’t go back to those courtship times when you were insane with crazy feelings that swept you off your feet. Still, you need to do things that worked then, trusting that they will cause you to reinvigorate and reenergize your love. Even the most powerful batteries need recharging. So, too, does the best and most solid relationship.

If love is still alive, these actions should rekindle the fires of your love. If, however, a storm is already brewing and love has dipped to dangerously low levels, then emergency measures might have to be taken. Perhaps you need to call in the experts who can help to pinpoint the problem and help you come up with effective solutions.

Whatever the situation, keep in mind that indifference is the sign, the dark clouds on the horizon of a coming storm. Take it seriously and pay attention. When indifference creeps into a love relationship, it means that love is on its way out.


Post a Comment

<< Home