Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Checklist for a boyfriend

Checklist for a boyfriend

By Bob Garon
TODAY Newspaper
Wednesday, March 2, 2005 12:53 AM


This is the continuation of the profile of the kind of man a 14-year-old girl drew up at my request. She is beautiful, obviously very intelligent and is being pursued by boys. Her list is an effort to protect her by helping her to be cautious about rushing into ill-advised relationships.

8. He should respect me for what I am, who I am, where I came from or for what my past is.

9. He should be brave enough and have a strong enough love to fight for me and defend me for what I am.

10. Someone who can keep up a conversation with me. Someone I can talk to about life.

11. Someone who knows how to really listen to what I have to say. Who treats me as his equal in making decisions and hearing out my opinions.

12. A person who takes care of himself physically. Who has the discipline to love himself enough to value his health.

13. He should trust me. I don’t want a man who is so possessive that he cannot trust me out of paranoia or insecurity. Along with love comes trust.

14. Someone who can open up his feelings and his problems to me. Who can entrust his whole self to me.

15. A man to whom I can entrust my own problems and feelings. Someone with whom I can share my loads with and be a shoulder to help me carry my burdens and be strong enough to keep me up if I start falling.

16. A man who respects my family. Regardless of what may come between us, he should always acknowledge the value I have for them.

17. Someone who can stand his ground and can really show what’s on his mind. Someone who doesn’t let other people step on him.

18. Never should he raise his voice at me in anger.

19. A man who knows when to have fun but who can get serious when the need arises. Who knows there’s a right time for everything.

20. Not once should I catch him lying to me.

21. A humble man who, despite his accomplishments in life and everything he has earned, or simply has, still doesn’t fail to show compassion to those who have less than he does. Who sees that what he has are blessings, not something that he should be big-headed about.

22. Someone who can give wholeheartedly without asking anything in return.

23. He isn’t afraid to show his feminine side. Example: if he has a thing for nice paintings or furniture. Who appreciates the beauty of things.

24. A person who never stops wanting to learn. Who knows he doesn’t know everything and therefore listens to what people have to say, even those who might know less than he does. A humble man who knows his worth.

25. Someone who is true to his word. When he makes a promise, he keeps it.

26. A man who knows the value of time. Is prompt, but, most of all, sees the value of time spent with me and the family.

27. Someone who will be a good example to my children.

28. He should not use physical force to discipline the children.

29. A born leader who doesn’t wait for people to make decisions for him.

30. An optimistic man who sees the brighter side of life. Who knows how to handle a crisis.

31. A man who thinks first. Is cautious and sensitive about how his actions may affect the people around him.

32. A frank person. Sensitive but frank. I won’t have reason to doubt him.

33. Intelligent in terms of living.

34. Someone who can cheer me up when I’m falling down.

35. Someone who is really interested in knowing who I am. Not what’s outside of me, but what’s inside.

36. Hardworking. Doesn’t give up. Has strong will power.

37. Doesn’t have eyes for any other woman but me.

38. Has good manners, is polite and respects women and his elders. Is a real gentleman.

39. A man with a sense of humor.

40. Someone who isn’t obsessive over money, who understands that there’s more to life than money.

41. He should not ask me to have sex with him before marriage. And he should not watch porn.

42. He should look me in the eyes while talking to me.

Too idealistic? Perhaps, but better to start with a higher standard and work down than to begin with a lower standard and work up.


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