A demon named Jealousy
A demon named Jealousy
By Bob Garon
TODAY Newspaper
Saturday, October 30, 2004 12:42 AM
If there is one demon that eats a man up and tears him apart, it is the Jealousy Demon. Men have such a terrible time handling jealousy.
Jealousy can make of a gentle man a roaring lion and even a homicidal maniac. The Jealousy Demon has provoked men to kill. It has destroyed more love relationships and collapsed more marriages than you can imagine. The Jealousy Demon is a tricky fellow. He pretends that he does his work in the name of love when in truth, he is all about low self-esteem, insecurity and controlling behavior.
Even the most solid man can, of course, get jealous if there is a real reason to be so. You become jealous when you fear losing your beloved. You might feel threatened by someone you sense could move into your relationship and steal your loved one. If you are correct about your suspicions; if there is really something there; if the threat is real, then you have every reason to be jealous.
If, however, your jealousy is justified, it is because there is a crack in your relationship. Perhaps things are not going well and your beloved is tempted to play with fire. Maybe there is conflict and boredom and your partner is seen looking over the fence for some consolation.
This is when panic sets in and the Jealousy Demon goes to work on you with a fury. You feel threatened. You fear losing the love you cherish. You ask yourself what went wrong, why you are not enough for your beloved. You are hurt and perhaps even insulted because your loved one seems to be looking away and searching for someone else. You sense that you might be losing your grip on the relationship. You might even feel so upset that you wonder if you are going crazy.
If, however, you are jealous for no real reason, then the Jealousy Demon really has you running around in circles. Now you’re imagining ghosts that are not really there. You’re making accusations that are far fetched and off the wall. Your beloved is as loyal as can be, but you cannot believe it. Your low self-esteem and your lack of confidence in your ability to keep your beloved kick in and cause you to imagine all sorts of threats that only exist in your troubled imaginings.
You suffer even more than the jealous person who is justifiably jealous because you have nothing to go on. You can’t prove anything and what you think is a real threat is proven false time and again. You have become paranoid. You are so possessive of your partner that it is difficult for your beloved to breathe.
All this creates a growing level of stress and tension which becomes unbearable after a time. It gravely damages your love and threatens to destroy it. And should your relationship survive and the Jealousy Demon remains firmly entrenched in your heart, then your relationship becomes a real hell. And if there is no true threat, your jealousy becomes a major threat in itself and could, in time, cause the collapse of the very love you want to save.
By Bob Garon
TODAY Newspaper
Saturday, October 30, 2004 12:42 AM
If there is one demon that eats a man up and tears him apart, it is the Jealousy Demon. Men have such a terrible time handling jealousy.
Jealousy can make of a gentle man a roaring lion and even a homicidal maniac. The Jealousy Demon has provoked men to kill. It has destroyed more love relationships and collapsed more marriages than you can imagine. The Jealousy Demon is a tricky fellow. He pretends that he does his work in the name of love when in truth, he is all about low self-esteem, insecurity and controlling behavior.
Even the most solid man can, of course, get jealous if there is a real reason to be so. You become jealous when you fear losing your beloved. You might feel threatened by someone you sense could move into your relationship and steal your loved one. If you are correct about your suspicions; if there is really something there; if the threat is real, then you have every reason to be jealous.
If, however, your jealousy is justified, it is because there is a crack in your relationship. Perhaps things are not going well and your beloved is tempted to play with fire. Maybe there is conflict and boredom and your partner is seen looking over the fence for some consolation.
This is when panic sets in and the Jealousy Demon goes to work on you with a fury. You feel threatened. You fear losing the love you cherish. You ask yourself what went wrong, why you are not enough for your beloved. You are hurt and perhaps even insulted because your loved one seems to be looking away and searching for someone else. You sense that you might be losing your grip on the relationship. You might even feel so upset that you wonder if you are going crazy.
If, however, you are jealous for no real reason, then the Jealousy Demon really has you running around in circles. Now you’re imagining ghosts that are not really there. You’re making accusations that are far fetched and off the wall. Your beloved is as loyal as can be, but you cannot believe it. Your low self-esteem and your lack of confidence in your ability to keep your beloved kick in and cause you to imagine all sorts of threats that only exist in your troubled imaginings.
You suffer even more than the jealous person who is justifiably jealous because you have nothing to go on. You can’t prove anything and what you think is a real threat is proven false time and again. You have become paranoid. You are so possessive of your partner that it is difficult for your beloved to breathe.
All this creates a growing level of stress and tension which becomes unbearable after a time. It gravely damages your love and threatens to destroy it. And should your relationship survive and the Jealousy Demon remains firmly entrenched in your heart, then your relationship becomes a real hell. And if there is no true threat, your jealousy becomes a major threat in itself and could, in time, cause the collapse of the very love you want to save.
posted by Dante at 8:33 PM
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