Not much you can do about this problem sister
Not much you can do about this problem sister
By Bob Garon
TODAY Newspaper
Wednesday, January 12, 2005 12:30 AM
Dear Bob: I have a problem regarding my sister’s attitude.
She is 48 years old, so conscious of her beauty (she’s not really that beautiful, but because of retoke sa mukha—injection here, there and everywhere—kahit paano nagkaroon ng mukha).
She is conceited—a very conceited woman with high pride. Masakit magsalita.
She loves herself more than her children, her relatives; walang pakialam sa mundo. She’s a very strange person.
She accepts boyfriends, even married men, as long as she could please them for admiring her “beauty.” She is separated.
She doesn’t care about the world. She only cares for herself, men and material.
She hates being told “may edad ka na, matanda ka na.” She is so terrible, arrogant and worse is her plastic attitude.
She doesn’t know that what she is doing is affecting our morale and dignity. She has no shame.
What can I do to make her change her ways?
Please help me how to tell her straight that what she is doing with her life is degrading. I would like to correct her, but she might misunderstand me and we might end up quarrelling.
I remember telling her, “Drop those men in your life because you are only grateful for their admiration of you because they enjoy your body; but, you see, there is no love.” She did not react.
Please, Bob, tell me what to say. My mom and I would be very grateful if I can do something to change my sister’s bad manners and arrogance.
Thank you and best regards.
—Remy in Holland
***
She’s 48, separated, lonely and looking for someone to fill the emptiness in her life. She’s running around with men, no doubt in the hope of getting one of them as a partner. Meanwhile, she is making a fool of herself.
What to do? Not much. If she is living with you, you can ask her to leave the house and then have nothing to do with her anymore. But, then, perhaps she does not live with you, but still is somewhere around and is proving to be an embarrassment to you and your mom.
You are obviously very upset with her. Your feelings are running high and you may not be the one who can have a serious talk with her without making matters worse.
Better to find someone she respects and convince that person to talk to her and gently find out why she is behaving this way. Chances are she can’t stand living alone and is desperately trying to find Mr. Right, but going about it in the wrong way.
It’s also possible that she simply does not care anymore and is looking for those moments of pleasure and satisfaction that the day might bring. A “live for today” attitude.
Whatever it might be, she needs help. This is why someone who has sufficient listening skills and who is a wise adviser must be the one to approach her. Find that person and let him or her do the talking.
By Bob Garon
TODAY Newspaper
Wednesday, January 12, 2005 12:30 AM
Dear Bob: I have a problem regarding my sister’s attitude.
She is 48 years old, so conscious of her beauty (she’s not really that beautiful, but because of retoke sa mukha—injection here, there and everywhere—kahit paano nagkaroon ng mukha).
She is conceited—a very conceited woman with high pride. Masakit magsalita.
She loves herself more than her children, her relatives; walang pakialam sa mundo. She’s a very strange person.
She accepts boyfriends, even married men, as long as she could please them for admiring her “beauty.” She is separated.
She doesn’t care about the world. She only cares for herself, men and material.
She hates being told “may edad ka na, matanda ka na.” She is so terrible, arrogant and worse is her plastic attitude.
She doesn’t know that what she is doing is affecting our morale and dignity. She has no shame.
What can I do to make her change her ways?
Please help me how to tell her straight that what she is doing with her life is degrading. I would like to correct her, but she might misunderstand me and we might end up quarrelling.
I remember telling her, “Drop those men in your life because you are only grateful for their admiration of you because they enjoy your body; but, you see, there is no love.” She did not react.
Please, Bob, tell me what to say. My mom and I would be very grateful if I can do something to change my sister’s bad manners and arrogance.
Thank you and best regards.
—Remy in Holland
***
She’s 48, separated, lonely and looking for someone to fill the emptiness in her life. She’s running around with men, no doubt in the hope of getting one of them as a partner. Meanwhile, she is making a fool of herself.
What to do? Not much. If she is living with you, you can ask her to leave the house and then have nothing to do with her anymore. But, then, perhaps she does not live with you, but still is somewhere around and is proving to be an embarrassment to you and your mom.
You are obviously very upset with her. Your feelings are running high and you may not be the one who can have a serious talk with her without making matters worse.
Better to find someone she respects and convince that person to talk to her and gently find out why she is behaving this way. Chances are she can’t stand living alone and is desperately trying to find Mr. Right, but going about it in the wrong way.
It’s also possible that she simply does not care anymore and is looking for those moments of pleasure and satisfaction that the day might bring. A “live for today” attitude.
Whatever it might be, she needs help. This is why someone who has sufficient listening skills and who is a wise adviser must be the one to approach her. Find that person and let him or her do the talking.
posted by Dante at 8:00 PM
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