The one flaw in women
The one flaw in women
By Bob Garon
TODAY Newspaper
Thursday, March 10, 2005 2:31 AM
By the time the Lord made woman, He had been working six days straight. He was very tired. An angel appeared before Him and said, “Lord, why are you spending so much time on this one?”
The Lord answered, “Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be water-proof, but not plastic or hard. She must have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and be able to run on diet Coke and leftovers. She must have a lap that can hold at least four children at a time, a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and she must be able to talk on the telephone, cook, scold a child and pet the dog all at the same time with only two hands.”
The angel was astounded. “No way! Only two hands!”
“Yes,” the Lord said. “And that’s just the standard model.”
“Lord, that is too much work for you. Wait until tomorrow. You can finish up then.”
“No!” The Lord protested. “I am too close to finishing this creation that is so close to my heart. She can already heal herself and work 18 hours a day. I’m just about done.”
The angel moved in for a closer look and touched the woman. “Lord, you’ve made her so soft.”
“Yes, she is soft,” the Lord agreed. “But she is also tough! You have no idea what she can do, endure, or accomplish.”
“Will she be able to think, too?” the angel asked.
The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think; she will be able to pray, reason, meditate and negotiate.”
The angel noticed something and reached out to touch the woman’s cheek. “Oops! You’ve put so much in her, she is starting to leak, Lord. I told you, you were putting too much in this one.”
“That’s not a leak, that’s a tear.”
“What’s that for?” the angel inquired.
The Lord whispered, “Her tears are the way she will express her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride. It is a symbol of her heart.”
The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You’ve thought of everything. This woman you are making is truly amazing, is she not?”
With all the pride of a brand-new father, the Lord said, “Oh yes she is! Women have strengths that will amaze men.
“They bear hardships and carry burdens, but they will, at the same time, hold happiness, love and joy. They will smile when they want to scream. Sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for those they love and all that they believe in. They stand up for injustice and remain seated in humility. They will not take no for an answer when they know there is a better way. They will go without so that their family, particularly the children can have what they need. They will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They will go to court with a wayward husband. They love unconditionally often, asking for and taking little in return.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends are rewarded. They are happy to hear about a birth, knowing the difficulties that may lie ahead. They cheer because they will help a friend through it all.
“They love weddings and might even help make the dress. They can cook and some can even bake. Their hearts break when someone dies yet, they are strong when others may think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart and, they will offer them to anyone who needs one. They come in all sizes, shapes and colors. They can walk, run, fly, drive or e-mail to remind you that they love you. It is the heart of a woman that will keep the world turning and things in order. They have the babies because men could never figure out how to put so much in such a small space. Women bring hope and joy. They bring compassion and ideals. They are the moral support that keeps the family of humanity together. Women have important things to say and even more important things to do. They ask very little and offer all they have—that’s their one flaw.”
“What flaw?” asked the angel.
Sadly, the Lord responded, “They seem to always forget their worth.”
By Bob Garon
TODAY Newspaper
Thursday, March 10, 2005 2:31 AM
By the time the Lord made woman, He had been working six days straight. He was very tired. An angel appeared before Him and said, “Lord, why are you spending so much time on this one?”
The Lord answered, “Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be water-proof, but not plastic or hard. She must have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and be able to run on diet Coke and leftovers. She must have a lap that can hold at least four children at a time, a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and she must be able to talk on the telephone, cook, scold a child and pet the dog all at the same time with only two hands.”
The angel was astounded. “No way! Only two hands!”
“Yes,” the Lord said. “And that’s just the standard model.”
“Lord, that is too much work for you. Wait until tomorrow. You can finish up then.”
“No!” The Lord protested. “I am too close to finishing this creation that is so close to my heart. She can already heal herself and work 18 hours a day. I’m just about done.”
The angel moved in for a closer look and touched the woman. “Lord, you’ve made her so soft.”
“Yes, she is soft,” the Lord agreed. “But she is also tough! You have no idea what she can do, endure, or accomplish.”
“Will she be able to think, too?” the angel asked.
The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think; she will be able to pray, reason, meditate and negotiate.”
The angel noticed something and reached out to touch the woman’s cheek. “Oops! You’ve put so much in her, she is starting to leak, Lord. I told you, you were putting too much in this one.”
“That’s not a leak, that’s a tear.”
“What’s that for?” the angel inquired.
The Lord whispered, “Her tears are the way she will express her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride. It is a symbol of her heart.”
The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You’ve thought of everything. This woman you are making is truly amazing, is she not?”
With all the pride of a brand-new father, the Lord said, “Oh yes she is! Women have strengths that will amaze men.
“They bear hardships and carry burdens, but they will, at the same time, hold happiness, love and joy. They will smile when they want to scream. Sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for those they love and all that they believe in. They stand up for injustice and remain seated in humility. They will not take no for an answer when they know there is a better way. They will go without so that their family, particularly the children can have what they need. They will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They will go to court with a wayward husband. They love unconditionally often, asking for and taking little in return.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends are rewarded. They are happy to hear about a birth, knowing the difficulties that may lie ahead. They cheer because they will help a friend through it all.
“They love weddings and might even help make the dress. They can cook and some can even bake. Their hearts break when someone dies yet, they are strong when others may think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart and, they will offer them to anyone who needs one. They come in all sizes, shapes and colors. They can walk, run, fly, drive or e-mail to remind you that they love you. It is the heart of a woman that will keep the world turning and things in order. They have the babies because men could never figure out how to put so much in such a small space. Women bring hope and joy. They bring compassion and ideals. They are the moral support that keeps the family of humanity together. Women have important things to say and even more important things to do. They ask very little and offer all they have—that’s their one flaw.”
“What flaw?” asked the angel.
Sadly, the Lord responded, “They seem to always forget their worth.”
posted by Dante at 4:14 PM
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