Friday, December 10, 2004

Qualities that women look for in men

Qualities that women look for in men

By Bob Garon
TODAY Newspaper
Friday, December 10, 2004 12:02 AM

Part 1 of 3 parts

What are the basic qualities that women desire most in men whom they would like to marry? I do not refer to things like financial security, good looks, a career, etc. I mean those intangibles that make life together a beautiful experience day in and day out. Those qualities that bond and cement relationships for a lifetime.

I was made to think about this when I visited an old friend of mine who is gravely ill with cancer. His wife called me one evening and told me that he had requested her to do so. He couldn’t speak, but could hear me well. I spoke to him for a while and tried to inspire him to go on. His responses were sighs and heavy breathing.

When I put down the phone, I decided to rush to the hospital to see him. My wife, Emmy, joined me since she knew him too. During our visit, we were both touched by the obviously deep love that these two people (he is 72, she is in her sixties) had for each other. They have been married almost 30 years and we could sense that this couple had married for life and were very happy. When we were about to leave, I embraced the wife and she tearfully whispered to me, “I don’t know what I will do without him.” It was clear that only the Angel of Death could come between these two.

That experience got me thinking about what qualities women look for in the men they marry. And for those who are fortunate enough to find lifelong happiness despite the many trials and reversals of life, what is it that binds them so firmly to their men.

Here are a few qualities in their men that women have told me make them very happy.

• Sensitivity. Sensitive men are such a joy to be with because they are just a step ahead of a woman’s needs. They have a sense about what the beloved is thinking, what she is feeling, and they move to answer to these needs before being asked. It is as if they have third eye that sees into the heart of the wife and responds almost instinctively. The sensitive man remains alert but relaxed as he foresees the needs and wants of the woman he loves. She feels so good about him because she knows she is in his mind and his love for her seems to spring into action in ways that surprise her.

• He’s romantic. He finds ways to touch her heart with words, gestures and surprises that clearly show that his love for her still burns brightly. He does things that you would expect only from young lovers who have only just begun to discover each other. In fact, his romantic gestures and words are expressions of an ongoing enthusiasm and appreciation of her.

• He’s a good listener. Women like to talk. They always seem to have something to say. This is why they feel so good about a man who listens and listens some more. It isn’t easy at times for a man to sit and pay attention to countless details about things that don’t really interest him. A man has to love a woman to be a good listener with a patience that is inexhaustible.

More tomorrow.


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